Published June 15, 2007
The Lighter Side
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, “Congratulations sir, you’re the father of twins.” “What a coincidence!” the man said with some obvious pride. “I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.”The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, “You, sir, are the father of triplets.”
“Wow, that’s really an incredible coincidence,” he answered. “I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down.”
An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time, she turned to the third man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply.
“Don’t tell me another coincidence?” asked the nurse.
After finally regaining his composure, he said, “I don’t believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel.”
After hearing this, everybody’s attention turned to the fourth guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and, after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness.
The nurse asked, “Sir, are you all right?”
“Yes” says the man, “I’m o.k. now. I just had a shocking thought. I work at the 7-11 Store.”
Published June 13, 2007
The Lighter Side
Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego’s. (If Lego’s are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.)
Grocery Store Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
Dressing Test: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.
Feeding Test: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
Night Test: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 – 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
Physical Test (Women): Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
Physical Test (Men): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
Final Assignment: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child’s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers
Published June 11, 2007
Making Sense Of It All
If your house or condo is listed for sale with a successful realty agent in your vicinity, there are five key reasons your home might not sell although nearby comparable residences are selling:
1. THE ASKING PRICE IS TOO HIGH. By far, this is the top reason a home doesn’t sell. Although you might be just testing the market, prospective home buyers are very smart and they know an overpriced listing when they see it. Worse, their buyer’s agents may not even bother showing homes with asking prices above recent sales prices of comparable nearby homes.
For this reason, if you want to get your home sold during this peak sales season, it is vital for your listing agent to keep you informed on a weekly basis of recent comparable home sales prices. Perhaps it’s time for an asking price reduction.
2. THE LISTING AGENT DOESN’T MAKE THE HOME EASY TO SHOW. The majority of home sales involve a listing agent and a buyer’s agent. If the seller, the tenants or the listing agent make it difficult to show a home, this discourages buyer’s agents.
A related problem can be the listing agent wants to “double end” the home sale by getting both the listing portion and the selling portion of the sales commission.
3. CONDITION OF THE HOME. Most home buyers want to purchase a residence in near “model home” condition where all they have to do is turn the key in the front door and move in. However, if the residence requires considerable work, that turns off all but the most die-hard bargain hunting home buyers.
Fixer-upper homes appeal to a very limited market of home buyers. Sometimes known as “bottom fishers,” they will purchase such homes only at bargain prices, well below what can be obtained with modest fix-up work such as painting (the most profitable improvement of all), repairing, and cleaning.
Word quickly spreads among local real estate agents when a home “doesn’t show well.” Buyers’ agents will only show that residence to their bargain hunters, usually investors, who want to purchase far below market value.
4. “AS IS” HOME SALE CAN BE A RED FLAG TURN-OFF. Closely related to homes that don’t show well are those listed for sale in “as is” condition. The term “as is” means the seller offers the residence in its current condition and will not pay for any repairs. However, the seller must still disclose in writing to buyers all known defects, such as a leaky roof or a bad foundation.
Whenever possible, home sellers should not offer their homes for sale “as is” because it is like waving a red flag in the buyer’s face. A better alternative is for the seller to obtain a professional inspection report and have the recommended repairs made before listing the home for sale.
Of course, when a home needs a major repair that the seller either can’t afford or doesn’t want to make, then an “as is” sale at a reduced price is advisable.
5. INEFFECTIVE MARKETING METHODS. In today’s home “buyer’s market” in most communities, listing agents and do-it-yourself “for sale by owner” home sellers must use every marketing resource available. Most effective is the for sale sign on the front lawn. A close second is weekly newspaper advertising, especially for a weekend open house. In third place is Internet advertising.
In addition, listing agents have the local MLS and their special networking among agents who represent prospective buyers for the type of house or condo listed for sale. The local Association of Realtors is an especially effective resource to spread the word about a desirable home listed for sale. A key part of this sales technique is the “broker’s tour” where only local agents are allowed to inspect a home for possible later showing to their buyers.
The best listing agents also use additional marketing methods, such as advertising in real estate magazines and color brochures and postcards mailed to nearby homeowners who may have friends who want to move to the area.
CONCLUSION: Selling houses and condos in any market requires hard work by successful listing agents. If your home has been listed for sale with a successful realty agent over 30 days and without any purchase offers, it’s time to discuss the five key reasons some homes don’t sell with the listing agent and make adjustments to get your home sold.
Published June 9, 2007
News Articles
Last Updated: Monday, May 14, 2007 | 3:32 PM PT
CBC News
The Vancouver developer being sued for cancelling pre-sale agreements at the Riverbend housing development in Coquitlam has been ordered to stop selling units at the project.
The province’s Superintendent of Real Estate issued a cease marketing order Monday against CB Developments, under the Real Estate Development Marketing Act.
Some buyers are suing the company after it cancelled their purchase contracts.
(CBC) In his decision, W. Alan Clark said there is a “substantial likelihood” the company planned to remarket the properties to new potential purchaser “without providing accurate disclosure.”
Clark said the fact that lawsuits have been filed against CB could affect the value and price of the units, and could influence the decision of would-be purchasers.
Even if the developer did re-sell the units to new buyers, they would likely end up tied up in litigation and might not receive title, Clark said, so he has suspended the company’s right to sell them.
The company has returned deposits to more than 30 would-be buyers, and told them their purchase agreements have been cancelled. Some of them had put their money down up to two years ago.
CB said rising construction costs and increased land values meant it had to resell the units at a higher price, and so it was breaking their contracts.
Several of the buyers are taking the company to court.
B.C. Finance Minister Carole Taylor said the superintendent’s action Monday should give the buyers some relief.
“They will at least know that there will be no reselling of their home until various issues under the act are followed, so it gives everyone breathing room, a chance to see exactly what the situation is, exactly what the contracts say,” she said.
Published June 9, 2007
Making Sense Of It All
Assignment Terms and Conditions from the Woodward’s Disclosure Statement
“The Buyer may only assign the Buyer’s interest in this Agreement on or after that date which is 12 months after the Acceptance Date and on or before that date which is three months prior to the estimated Closing Date, and in any event, only if: (a) all Deposits required to be paid on or before the proposed date of assignment have been paid; and (b) the Buyer has obtained the prior written consent of the Seller (the developer) which consent will not be unreasonably withheld. Any request for the consent of the Seller (the developer) to the assignment of the Buyer’s interest in this Agreement must be made via the Seller’s (the developer’s) Real Estate Agent, as defined in the Disclosure Statement. No assignment by the Buyer shall release the Buyer from the Buyer’s obligations hereunder. The Buyer shall pay to the Seller (the developer) an administration fee equal to 1.0% of the assignment price paid by the assignee to the Buyer (plus GST) for the assignment of the Buyer’s interest in the Unit or in this Agreement (the “Assignment”) as consideration for agreeing to the Assignment and for any associated legal and administrative costs. The Buyer shall not advertise or solicit offers from the public nor list the Unit on the Multiple Listing Service with respect to the resale of the Buyer’s interest in the Unit prior to the Closing Date, except through the Seller’s (the developer’s) Real Estate Agent, as defined in the Disclosure Statement, without the prior written consent of the Seller (the developer), which consent may be refused by the Seller in the Seller’s sole discretion. “
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